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Christian nationalists ready bonfires for "pagan threat"

After about 100 years of realising that they should shut the fuck up, Christian Nationalists are crawling out of their holes to demand that anyone who disagrees with their weird take on Christianity (including Jesus) should be burnt at the stake.

In a new book, The Pagan Threat Confronting America's Godless, Pastor Lucas Miles reckons pagans are coming for your pew and your passport. He says only his Bronze Age certainty can stop them.

Miles already penned Woke Jesus: The False Messiah Destroying Christianity. That book says the whole loving and tolerant Christ idea is woke nonsense and claims Jesus would cheer on right-wing Christian Nationalist morals that felt old in the 19th century.

Now his latest tome, which will be in the bookshops soon, is more explicit about how much he hates occultism and paganism. 

The book is introduced by the caring, sharing man of God, who is apparently now beloved of all, the "unalived" Charlie Kirk. Kirk called Miles a fearless warrior for Christ. Lucas is a man built to stand for the truth in a time of great apostasy. 

"Don’t just read PAGAN THREAT—internalise what it has to say. Then, share its message with your Christian friends, before they are seduced by Paganism themselves. We have a faith and a country to save.”

Pastor Miles lays it on thicker than gravy, presumably because his readers are not the brightest bulbs. 

“The world does not need a Christianity of convenience or cultural compliance; it needs a Christianity that is fervent, passionate, and unapologetically true. For only when we believe, with all our hearts, that Christ is the way, the truth, and the life—only when we are convinced that the Gospel is not just a set of doctrines but the living, breathing power of God—will we have the courage to stand against the forces of Paganism.”

The pitch paints an America besieged by techno-mystics, idol polishers and teenagers with lunar calendar apps.

We’re told it unearths ancient rites beneath identity politics and inclusivity. As if the local Pride picnic is secretly a Beltane bash with better hummus.

There’s a tidy to-do list about discipleship, politics, youth chasing and tech. It reads like a church growth seminar in a MAGA cap.

“To win the battle against Paganism, we must do more than merely resist the rise of its idols; we must believe in Christianity in a way that shapes our lives, our actions, and our very hearts. It is not enough to claim the name of Christ or to oppose the darkness with moral outrage; we embrace the light, letting it pierce the deepest corners of our souls,” Miles said.

The baddie list lumps witches, TikTok and anyone who enjoys an equinox brunch. Then, it slaps on “godless uprising” like a recall sticker for curiosity.

Meanwhile, real-world paganism is herb gardens, star charts and seasonal nosh. More cinnamon than sedition. 

We should point out that the last person to be a dick like this in the UK was Oliver Cromwell, who banned Christmas. When the monarchy returned, the UK's Puritans were not allowed to burn anyone at the stake and left to what would become the United States so that they could keep up their hateful religious murders.

The founding fathers could see the dangers and wrote the separation of church and state into the Constitution, and that worked. Now the witch burners are back.

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